Over heard on the bus

Early morning, African-American kid, about 15 years old sitting on the bus in an ROTC uniform obviously on his way to school. Two African-American males, 18-24 years old, sitting opposite him start sniggling and laughing. Finally one of them asked the kid (loudly, from across the aisle) why he was “playing soldier for the MAN?”
The kid calmly looked up from his book, looked both of the guys over rather carefully and replied
“I think I want to grow up to be a man with a job and a family – NOT a crackhead Nigxxr living with my baby mama cause she got a Section Eight crib and a Link card”.
Two black women and an (very old) black man started cheering him …….. I will not recount my reaction – but it took TWO Kleenex…………
Note: Section Eight Housing = city funded housing, Link Card = Food Stamps

Guy across the aisle from me – REPEATEDLY yelling into his phone “Can you hear me?”, “You hear me”? Finally he looks up and addresses the bus at large – “Stupid bitch – I ax her as question an all she say is Can you hear me! I ain’t gonna tell her till she tell me if she hear me! She one stupid bitch…………..”
Uh, sure she is………………..and your obviously friggin Einstein reincarnate

Early morning bus FULL of high school kids on their way to school. Kid gets on the bus with two VERY large and very full duffel bags in addition to his book bag. Sits behind me with some kids he obviously knows. One asks him why he has the two bags. He explains that "we" have to move to another (homeless) shelter tonight and his mother can't carry all of the kids clothes so he took them to school and will take them to the new shelter tonight. Those kids got off at one of the Charter schools for gifted students - and that kid is not only gifted - he is a gift...............

Lord, I wish I had the wherewithal to help those that kick adversity in the face and try to help themselves...........

These vignettes are great-keep them coming!

Oh, Lordy - this one has SO many overtones, undertones, and is probably just WRONG, but I couldn't (and can't) resist.


I change buses at about 6:00 a.m. in a very depressed area that is predominately African-American, and notorious for many of the recent shootings in Chicago. Monday I was waiting for the bus when this "kid" (about 24 years old) comes up to the stop, looks at me, asks if I am waiting for the bus, and upon my affirmative answer says (squeals!) "OH MY GOD! At least I won't be the lone ranger today! Since there are two of us whites maybe THEY won't hassle me today. I hate this stop but it's the closest .........." and he ran on for at least a minute longer - with lots of THEY drivel in the same vein...............

Now - this "kid" is about 5'6" tall, weighs about 90 pounds, was wearing a pair of Capri pants (sorry guys, when the trousers are below the knee but above the ankle and skin tight with vents on the sides, they are NOT shorts), a very tight tee-shirt that showed 2" of "midriff", a blue hoodie with the hood draped over the back of his "up do" hair like a snood, a pair of red & white sunglasses propped on top of his head (we haven't seen the sun in Chicago is a week), and white flip-flops. Oh, yeah, he had a Louis Vuitton MINI backpack (authentic) slung over his shoulder.

And once again, I could NOT keep my sarcasm to myself............

I said "Sorry to tell you son, but you IS the lone ranger still - my Daddy was black! An I don't think there is a black man in Chicago who hassles you cause you white - they hassle you cause you look, dress and act like a sixteen year old girl, Mary. Even with those tight hoe pants I can't tell if you is man or woman. You better stay in Boy's Town where youse belongs."

My apologies to the Black community for my temporary assumption of your race and attitude! I have lived and worked in diverse communities long enough to realize that what I did was to stereotype, but honestly, he asked for it! And, no I am not homophobic - quite the opposite - I was Gay friendly before Stonewall. Come to think of it, probably before the term "Gay" was coined.............

He was hardly a "child"! And any idiot living in a large, metropolitan city with a gun violence rate of at least 2 shootings per day (55 so far this weekend) should know NOT to "antagonize" others with either racial nonsense or controversial behavior, particularly within blocks of most of that violence.

How did he react? He said he was sorry that he thought I was white and seemingly ignored the rest of my nastiness.........Poor mite, I do feel that when he learns how to live in a city such as this, it will be from a much harsher encounter that the one we had.


HA! This EDIT feature is very cool!

This on-line headline from a national news outlet corrects my "violence in Chicago" statics quoted above:


Fourth Of July Violence In Chicago: Homicide Rate Passes 200 After Long Holiday Weekend Of Shootings

I was teasing you - I think what you did was hilarious. I do feel just a little bit of pity for him though.

Sitting on the bus this A.M., seated next to a woman I know casually from this particular segment of my commute - there is a young-ish (mid 20's?) girl sitting across from us talking on her phone in a slightly louder than normal speaking voice.........obviously telling her "BFF" about her date last night. And after about 15 minutes of "and he's like, can I come up" and "I'm like, I want him to come up but what will he think on the first date" and "he's like, a really good kisser" and so on ad nauseum, the women next to me started to say something to me - and my "nasty" kicked in - I turned to her and said (in a slightly louder than normal speaking voice) - "Shhhh - want to hear if this chick got laid last night!"

A) I didn't know that young women stilled blushed

B) I'm glad I'm armor plated - the look that girl gave me would have curdled milk..............

An Open Letter to Forrest Claypool re: CTA Buses

First allow me, with full sincerity, to say that the Chicago Transit Authority’s bus system is very comprehensive and better that most I have experienced in the United States.

On the other hand, I thought I would make a few suggestions that may enhance not only the Rider (oops! You call them “Customers” now!) Experience, but may also be helpful in other respects:

For instance, you could install an exit door near the rear of each bus so that “Customers” could board in the front and exit in the rear! That would not only save time, but would eliminate the stepped on toes of those unfortunate enough to be in the way of some one sitting in the back seats and having to run/push their way to the front to exit………………….(and then turn right after they disembark)

You could have the driver (oops! You call them “Operators” now!) issue napkins and/or Wet Naps to those they SEE boarding the bus with ice cream cones, ice pops, hamburgers, fiery hot Cheetos, etc. so they wouldn’t have to wipe their hands on the seats……………………… (And don’t discount tray tables for the pizza and nachos – then the “Customers” wouldn’t have to spread it out in the parcel area near the “Operator”)

You could install soundproof booths at each seat so that each person could listen to his/her personal music choice without it conflicting with those around them………………..(and IF you installed a WORKING speaker system “Customers” could actually hear it)

You could install “jump seats” next to the driver so that other CTA “Operators” have a place to sit when talking to the “Operator” driving the bus and they won’t have to suck in their guts and shoot glowering looks at “Customers” attempting to board the bus………………. (Admittedly, the overheard information about nasty/corrupt Supervisors IS interesting)

You could take that blank, red tinted area above the windshield and install an electronic message board with information such as the next stop, whether a stop has been requested, etc. and maybe even MORE helpful, the current RUN NUMBER…………..(the current time and other helpful messages should not be overlooked)

You could hire “Operators” who understand “Customer” language and not only the language spoken by other “Operators” – this would avoid the blank stares and grunts when a “Customer” asks a pertinent question or says Good Morning ………………. (Providing that the “Operator” is not too deeply engrossed in a conversation with another “Operator” that is)

You could install BIGGER trash bins (instead of eliminating them altogether) and set aside an area with a sign that reads “Picnic Grounds”………………(and hire busboys (pun intended) to take away all of the empty coffee cups, Slurpy cups, water bottles, beer cans in bags and other trash that litters the floor)

Even though they are “free” you could start charging for The Red Eye and HOY. Judging by the number of copies littering each bus, this could be lucrative enough to eliminate any deficit …………. (Isn’t it amazing how the results of stepping on an ice patch and stepping on two folded sheets of The Red Eye have the same, slippery results!)

Of course, those suggestions are the more accomplishable ones I can suggest. My real wish list would include:

A baggage check room for back packs and book bags - to avoid the slapped faces, snagged earphone cords and the taking up of two seats by those wearing them………………….. (I personally would benefit from this having had two, not one, but two pairs of eyeglasses destroyed by backpacks…….)

Folding make-up mirrors, for the woman who doesn’t seem to have a bathroom mirror at home….(and girl, you DO NOT look like a busy wife, mother, career woman – you look like whoever you spent the night with couldn’t wait to get rid of you and tossed you out before you were ready….)

Folding foot rests for the comfort of those guys who need to slouch in their seats with their legs in the aisle…………….(and guys – you DO NOT look chill and laid back – you look like you’re waiting for Lexington Steel to lift you by the knees and slip you a little sumpin…)

A nursery or playpen near the front door – to corral the kids that “mom” lets push through the legs of boarding passengers and run all over the bus …………….. (Climbing on seats and swinging from the straps….hmmm, a jungle gym in the back of the bus maybe……..)

Please – eliminate the arms rest that occur every three seats – don’t you realize that most “Customers” are FOUR seats long and it is hard to recline comfortably with the arm rest in the way ………………. (Pillows and a sleep mask would a nice touch for those that have a longer commute, say over fifteen minutes, and simply HAVE to nap …….)

Um, I don’t have a solution or suggestion, but maybe you can think of a way to prevent “Customers” from pushing a stroller or shopping cart down the aisle and parking in front of what should be an exit door - and then pushing it all the way back to the front to disembark…………….. (Then those “Customers” that believe that that space is actually a phone booth won’t be displaced…….)

Ooops! Almost forgot – IF you had a WORKING speaker system, you could allow some sort of Bluetooth arrangement so that every “Customer” could hear what that chick on her phone is telling her BFF about her date last night ……….. (Some people don’t know if she (or her date) got lucky or not – and it’s just a tease to give us the one side of the conversation…)

I have covered my experiences with the new Arrivals Times boards at certain stops elsewhere, so I will not bore you with them here.

In closing, allow me to say that there are some drivers who actually deserve the title Operator – I have seen and heard them go above and beyond, and they do not rely on non-functioning or easily overlooked systems to keep passengers informed, safe and comfortable. They actually have voices and use them. The irony here is that I can not even send kudos to your e-mail contact because you seem to have eliminated THE RUN NUMBER from any functioning message boards (fewer and more far between lately).

Just sign me,
“A Six Bus a Day Rider”

Wigger boy (look it up in the Urban Dictionary)........this white boy wears his pants to out sag every sagger, his t-shirt to out extra-extra-large every recent parolee from County jail, his Timberlane boots completely without laces, and usually has TWO price tags dangling from his cap........which he wears on very strange angles. . He out-thugs, out Hip Hops, and out ganstas every urban male I have ever seen. He talks to everyone, particularly black guys, and prefaces every statement with "Dis nigga" as in "Dis nigga almos miss dis bus, ya know what i'm sayin?. An dis nigga can't be late for da gig no more cause dat man he a real Muthafker. Dis nigga need da bread to pay fo he crib an he lady." And so on ad nauseum..........

One afternoon he was babbling at two black guys who were trying to ignore him, but he kept on "Dis nigga-ering". Finally one of the guys grabbed him by the front of his size XXXXXXXXXL tee-shirt and said (not nicely) "If dat nigga don't shut the fu*k up, DIS nigga gonna plant he size 13 kicks in DAT lily white nigga ass"...............yes I laughed out loud and got some really nasty looks from the two guys.....didn't faze Wigger Boy though...........his response was "Hey dawg, why you disrespecting dis nigga?"

One morning last week a well dressed woman boarded the bus eating a banana (I forgo any snide remarks on HOW she was eating said banana). She took a seat and proceeded to finish her banana, then got up to deposit the peel in the tiny little canvass trash "bag" that hangs next to the driver and is intended for the cellophane wrappers from fare cards. The driver politely asked her to not leave the peel there as the container was not designed for food waste.

She (belligerently) asked, "Why Not?"

He replied, "Because I have to sit here for the next six hours and banana peels smell".

She said, "That's too bad. That's what you get paid for".

He said, "No, what I get paid for is driving you to a destination safely and as on time as I can".

She said, "I want your name and badge number so I can report you".

He said, "Sure, and I want your name and a picture so I can post this on Facebook".

At which point another passenger spoke up and said, "Not necessary, I already took a picture to send to Jimmy Kimmel's Finger of Shame"!

We all laughed and cheered and she got off the bus at the next stop................

Standing at the bus stop the other morning, along with a very attractive, well dressed young lady of about 25-28 years old

Young guy, about the same age, wearing cargo shorts, flip flops, t-shirt and a cap on backwards comes along and tries to chat her up

Of course, since it was obvious that I was there, I eavesdropped......

That is until she asked him which college he was enrolled in.

He responded that he had graduated from college and had a great job.

She responded "Sorry, I thought you were a freshman by the way you are dressed"................

conversation ended at that point................

I don't know how to ride a bus.