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Post by Mansons2005 on Jun 7, 2013 23:46:09 GMT
I have reached a “Certain Age” and the body is just NOT what it used to be ……….. What was once a “cute little beer belly with love handles” has turned in to the Hindenburg Dirigible. This poses a very real issue with trousers – no hips or waist! …………….so:
Do I wear my pants a la Florida – pulled up OVER the paunch, up to my arm pits………………
OR
Do I wear my pants a la Georgia, down UNDER the paunch and give that “butt crack” thing a try?
Decisions, decisions ……………
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Post by Mansons2005 on Jun 8, 2013 0:13:28 GMT
Finally - Conclusive Proof that I am getting old........................yeah, the short term memory loss, the infernal prostate stuff, the creaking and cracking joints, the hearing loss, the shiny pate, the dimming eyes - they are all SIGNS that old age is approaching - but now I have proof that it is HERE ..................
The other day when I left the office I stepped out into an 85 (+) degree day with screaming, streaming sunshine ........ and my FIRST thought was ...................................................
I should have WORN A SWEATER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sheesh ........................
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Post by Mansons2005 on Jun 30, 2013 21:19:25 GMT
Because of my ((swiftly) advancing age (the National Trust of Historic Preservation called - not to renew my membership but to see if I was available as a PROJECT) and the state of my finances, I have come to the conclusion that there are some things that I will never enjoy or experience again........
Queens' Birthday in Amsterdam
Spend an entire week driving Route 7 through Vermont
Barge-trip down the Rhine
Hacking in Central park
Spend a week with my friends in Acoma Pueblo
Attend a Royal Garden Party or attend an investiture
Sit in a West Village gay bar for a full Saturday trading insults with Truman Capote (R.I.P)
See a production of Balanchine's Nutcracker at the MET
Watch Star Wars (1) so f'd up that I believe that I can gather a handful of those stars in the sky
Go to an airport (which ever is closer) on a Friday night and see what tickets are available and just go
Spend a hungover Sunday morning in bed with my wife, the Sunday Times, and a sack of bagels from Bagel Nosh (garlic with a schmere, raw onion and crispy bacon)
People watch at the Twenty-Third Street Flea Market
Spend an evening on the terrace of a villa in Tuscany - and wind up sleeping right there - wine bottle cradled under one arm
Watch "King Of Hearts" in a tiny art cinema that smells of pop corn and pot (what ever happened to Geneviève Bujold??)
Flirt with Candy Bergen from across the room at Four Seasons
Spend Fleet Week sharing a blanket with US and foreign sailors in Central Park for the Concert
Go to a club at midnight on Friday night and not get home until Sunday noon (is the Loft still there? Is David Mancuso still around?)
Sail trans-Atlantic first class - and take the Concord home
See a Broadway show in previews and be asked to critique
See an Off-Broadway show so bad that I get a black eye when the audience storms the stage (what ever happened to Jimmy Kirkwoood?)
Spend St Patrick's Day in a dive bar on the West Side with stevedores ( and NOT sing God Bless the Queen)
Walk into Tiffany, tell them we want to look at diamonds and sit and sip their sherry while lackeys fall over themselves with black velvet trays
Bring lunch and bloody marys to people watch in Grand Central Station
Leave a cryptic love letter under the door of that lonely widow down the hall - and watch her shine and sparkle for at least a month
Walk into Rumplemeyer's and announce that I will pay the bill for anyone eating anything concocted of more than 3 ice cream flavors
Tube down the Ichetucknee River with a cooler of Budweiser and old (& fat) frat brothers
Attend a Harvard-Yale or Army-Navy game
A (very!!) early morning barefoot walk across the Quad at Oxford - just to feel the dewy grass (an American suburbanite's dream, that grass)
Spend a day slowly getting snockered on(mediocre)champage at Chanel or LaCroix in Paris while my wife tries on clothes
Have a 3 hour, huge, loud, almost violent fight with my wife - until she says "okay, we don't agree - where are we eating tonight?" and we will both promptly forget the entire argument
Go to a Yankees (or Cubs) game and gorge on peanuts, beer, and hot dogs
Spend a month traveling the US in a van with a bunch of Dead Heads
Go to Macy's, buy a few hundred dollars worth of toys and take them to the kids in a shelter - for no other reason than the fact that they are IN a shelter - gotta bring the Mom's all the make-up we can scrounge up as well!
Sit on a subway train, stare at the most obnoxious person across from me and smile one of the "highly amused" smiles and watch them squirm - women's hands head straight for the blouse buttons, men try to crane their necks without looking obvious to see if their fly is open)
Go to a Drive-in theatre
Take the train from Chicago to Albuquerque
Spend a weekend at West Mountain Inn in Arlington, VT - alone - or at that inn in Aubervilliers, France
and much, much, much more...............
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Post by messilane on Jul 2, 2013 16:04:07 GMT
Mine is the fact that I will never again see the night sky out in the wilds.
No city lights to occlude the stars.
No noise to obscure the sounds of nature.
sigh . . .
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Post by Mansons2005 on Aug 23, 2013 3:25:42 GMT
Ah, I think senility is making periodic visits! I recently acquired a couple of fresh pears .......... carefully ripened them and then popped one in the fridge to chill it. This evening, when I thought is was "just right", I carefully sliced it into eighths and cut out the core/stem. Nicely arranged the slices on the cutting board, being careful to keep the waste on the side. Carried it over to the trash bin - and scraped the slices into the bin and left the waste on the board .......... crap!
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Post by Mansons2005 on Oct 12, 2013 0:19:19 GMT
In an effort to add a little whimsy to old age, and to occupy my mind when I have to perform a task that precludes reading or other enjoyment, I have invented a NEW PASTIME!
I find that I am standing in the loo for LARGE amounts of time (yep, the ole I have to pee AGAIN but CAN I? routine)........... so I have hung a mirror over the WC and placed a nice selection of white board markers in a vase on the tank...........Fortunately I am right-handed, so now when I am standing there I can see what I would look like with orange hair, or a blue mustache, or red eyeglasses, or a heart tattoo under my left eye..........So damned much fun that I am thinking of installing a full length mirror on the side wall so that I can what I would look like with a _______________________(fill in the blank)
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Post by bookahtoo on Oct 13, 2013 1:28:47 GMT
with a merkin.
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Post by bookahtoo on Oct 13, 2013 1:29:59 GMT
Sorry - couldn't resist..I just learned what it was the other day on the AB.  |
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Post by Teutonic on Oct 13, 2013 2:00:03 GMT
Ha! a PINK one.....................!!!!!! |
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Post by Mansons2005 on Oct 15, 2013 23:49:41 GMT
Okay - now I want to know how Book and Teutonic(?) managed to see through the opaque glass on my bathroom window!!!!!!!! Now I only have ONE secret vice left ....................
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Fig
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Post by Fig on Oct 20, 2013 0:01:49 GMT
Okay - now I want to know how Book and Teutonic(?) managed to see through the opaque glass on my bathroom window!!!!!!!! Now I only have ONE secret vice left .................... I guess I missed that thread on the AB, but just looked it up. Ha! BTW, I like your new avatar. Who is he? Fig |
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Post by Mansons2005 on Oct 20, 2013 0:46:16 GMT
My current avatar is a photo of one of my "less notorious" ancestors.......some say I resemble him.....personally I don't see the resemblance, but........
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Fig
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Post by Fig on Oct 27, 2013 16:59:34 GMT
Well, he does look a bit formal. You were raised that way, I'm sure -- but from what you've said, you've thrown that aside.
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Post by Mansons2005 on Oct 27, 2013 17:14:23 GMT
Well, he does look a bit formal. You were raised that way, I'm sure -- but from what you've said, you've thrown that aside. He was a formal old stick........at least when the ladies were present................but when it was "just the guys" he could tell a joke - MAN! I actually used to look forward the ladies leaving the table, wait with bated breath for him to down his first glass of port, and THEN I could get some good "patter" to impress the guys back at school............ And while I have tossed aside many things, I am still a bit "formal" and live up to certain standards, but most of it is in my private life. There is no point in making others uncomfortable or in looking like an ass............both of which I AM very proficient in, if in the right mind |
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Fig
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Post by Fig on Oct 27, 2013 18:05:48 GMT
OK, I see what you mean. Perhaps I should not have said you've thrown the manners aside. They are part of your upbringing and part of you, after all. It's just that you sometimes seem to question some of the behaviors. Or maybe just realizing that so many people in the world do not even understand them is making a difference in your daily life in the outside world. --??--
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Post by Mansons2005 on Oct 27, 2013 21:28:33 GMT
I haven't actually thrown manners aside, I have just (TRIED to ) adapted them to the world I live in. Though more than once I have had a woman get extremely indignant when I "forgot to adapt" and referred to her as Madam or Madame...............
And it is actually more than "public manners". There are certain things that are DONE a certain way, and there is just no alternative. My favorite, simple, example of this concerns my father - though he flouted convention on one front, he staunchly stood by convention concerning the way "THINGS ARE DONE". He hated to have the covers (sheet and blanket) tucked in at the foot of the bed. Hated it! Couldn't sleep with it! But even when he made his own bed (after his partner died) he would MAKE the bed EACH morning by tucking in the covers at the foot of the bed - and untuck them just before he got into bed. Why? Because that's the way it is DONE.
That is a simple example, but it illustrates the principle, I think. I, too, am guilty of some of the same. And I find myself (quietly) passing judgement on the behavior of others when they break the same "rules" and mores that I have broken. Hypocrisy at its best, no? But in essence, its the principle that is important. In reality, I could give a rats ass about social position and marrying "up or down", or questions of ancestry...............but I mentally "see" the situation or the people involved based on the principles I was brought up with. I was positively thrilled when my cousin married - she married for love ............. and I liked the guy TREMENDOUSLY - we were best buds and would have been even if he had not married my cousin. But I, along with my relatives, "deplored" this misalliance, because we had no idea who his grandparents were (neither did he), and he came from a totally different background. He brought no "sparkle" to the family. The fact that they were very happily married for over half a century and produced some of the most wonderful children makes no difference - the FACT is she married "down". Their children are were very close to them, both as kids and as adults - but even those children, having been brought up in the same world I was, will say (but with love, pride and respect) that "Mother married down". And yes, I technically "married down". Doesn't change the principle though...................
I know it sounds twisted and inverse, but it is inbreed. It's like blue eyes, being left handed, having a Roman nose or brindle sh*t brown hair - you're born with it and there it is. I suppose it will eventually be breed out - but not in my lifetime, or that of my cousin's children. I hear that their children are just the same....................
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Fig
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Post by Fig on Oct 28, 2013 23:17:39 GMT
So, it seems that you as an individual might think or feel in a certain way about somebody or something -- but there can coexist a very different opinion that is social, and deeply ingrained in your heritage and upbringing. Does that come anywhere close to describing it? Not having the same type of heritage or upbringing that you did, I still wonder if perhaps many people, even raised differently, have some sort of "disconnect" or dichotomous way of viewing certain situations -- a difference between one's real inclinations and the pull of everything they have always learned. It seems that the second, heritage and upbringing, type of thing is connected to our societal connections with groups with whom we identify. ....
Wait, don't you have a social anthropology background? If so, you've probably thought of a better explanation.
I like the story about your father and tucking in the sheets.
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Post by Mansons2005 on Nov 3, 2013 14:25:03 GMT
So, it seems that you as an individual might think or feel in a certain way about somebody or something -- but there can coexist a very different opinion that is social, and deeply ingrained in your heritage and upbringing. Does that come anywhere close to describing it? Not having the same type of heritage or upbringing that you did, I still wonder if perhaps many people, even raised differently, have some sort of "disconnect" or dichotomous way of viewing certain situations -- a difference between one's real inclinations and the pull of everything they have always learned. It seems that the second, heritage and upbringing, type of thing is connected to our societal connections with groups with whom we identify. .... Wait, don't you have a social anthropology background? If so, you've probably thought of a better explanation. I like the story about your father and tucking in the sheets. Sorry for the delay = both past and future! I fully intend to continue this conversation, but it needs to be at a time when I am not interrupted. I have had people here either on business, for tutoring, or for "crisis intervention". As a matter of fact, I have some one here right now who had a crisis at 4:00 am.........while he's asleep right now, its sure shootin' that he'll be awake (again) within a half hour..................so I putter with other things until I can gather my thoughts........ |
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Fig
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Post by Fig on Nov 12, 2013 2:33:21 GMT
No hurry! I just got back from a trip and wouldn't be able to reply now anyway.
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Post by Mansons2005 on Dec 2, 2013 0:00:20 GMT
Sorry I have not been around - I have had some disturbing (to say the least) health news and have spent the past two weeks wither in hospital or camped out on the sofa wallowing in depression. I have to work tomorrow and have an out-patient doctor's appointment on Tuesday so that activity should bounce me out of my self-pity. Though I do have so say that I am fully and damned sick and tired of this on again, off again health situation - I almost wish my body would make up its mind on what it wants to do......................
hope to be back shortly
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Post by bookahtoo on Dec 2, 2013 18:09:08 GMT
I am very sorry you've gotten bad health news.
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Fig
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Post by Fig on Dec 2, 2013 23:55:44 GMT
So sorry to hear of your medical situation and concerns --The fact that you are frustrated with the situation might be a good sign that you are fighting this. At least, I hope so! Hang in there, and come back when you can.
Fig
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Post by Mansons2005 on Dec 7, 2013 1:13:20 GMT
Well, it is official ....................... its back. After thirty years of living cancer free, I have two very large tumors in my lower back - one on the right side,above and behind the hip, and one on the left side of the spinal column. ON the spinal column.
When I had the last growth removed, it involved removing a kidney and that lead to all sorts of complications (not all caused by hemophilia). At least that was operable. They are not sure about the one on my spinal column. Hell and damnation, they are not even sure what KIND of cancer this is................even Sloan Kettering and the Mayo Clinic couldn't classify it thirty years ago.
I don't know if I can stand to go through chemotherapy and radiation treatments again.............I don't know if my body will stand it ...............I just don't know........
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Fig
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Post by Fig on Dec 7, 2013 23:40:53 GMT
Oh, I just saw your message -- I'm so very sorry to hear about this. I wasn't aware of the nature of any of your medical issues the past couple of years. It's hard to know what to say... if only there were some magic words to heal you, they would be coming your way already.
If only I could send you some tea and comfort, supplemented by some quietly positive energy. Something! I hope you have some support around you at this time. Please don't give up. Sometimes the right words don't come, so I'll stop for now. But, am sending some positive thoughts your way. It's really all I can do right now.
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Post by Mansons2005 on Dec 8, 2013 11:01:19 GMT
Oh, I just saw your message -- I'm so very sorry to hear about this. I wasn't aware of the nature of any of your medical issues the past couple of years. It's hard to know what to say... if only there were some magic words to heal you, they would be coming your way already. If only I could send you some tea and comfort, supplemented by some quietly positive energy. Something! I hope you have some support around you at this time. Please don't give up. Sometimes the right words don't come, so I'll stop for now. But, am sending some positive thoughts your way. It's really all I can do right now. Thanks Fig. And I suppose I should apologize for throwing this out here, but I have few other outlets and this seemed like a natural place to whine. Thanks for your kind words, and believe me, I fully understand the "difficulty in finding the right words"..........I have found over the last half century of dealing with chronically ill people that there really are no words..........but the simple act of someone trying to find them is a major comfort in itself. So. thank you for the comfort and the positive energy. I don't know how I am going to handle this new episode in the Saga Of My Trials and Tribulations. I have spent this weekend wallowing in any and all edibles in the house (I have eaten most of next weeks groceries), and sleeping whenever and wherever I am at the moment, including in my desk chair! Haven't gotten into bed at all since I arose on Friday morning. I suppose that is a reaction to the fortnight I spent in a hospital bed having the hematomas drained. I have spent some time reviewing my life and I suppose my depression has coloured my outlook a bit. I am sorry that I didn't accomplish more with my time and talents. Mine is the first generation in my father's family that has not left an appreciable mark on American history since it became a country. I am the linar or lateral descendant of four US presidents, 3 Secretary of State, a great number of military Generals and Admirals, innumerable Ambassadors and Department of State emissaries, 3 University Deans, heads of grand charitable foundations, and countless others who have left some sort of viable legacy. I wonder what happened to my generation? My only full brother committed suicide, one of my step-brothers may have done the same when he was struck by a truck while under the influence of drugs, two step-brothers (and their families) were murdered by terrorists - as innocent bystanders, one step-brother died of medical malpractice, and my half-brother committed suicide. My wife was murdered as an innocent victim of a robbery in a retail store. My sisters-in-law either died with their husbands or died soon after of disease. My cousins all lead good, fulfilling lives, but aside from some who made a career of the military, there were no grand accomplishments there either. And all but one of them is gone now as well. My father's branch of the family name is all but extinct, and with the exception of an adopted cousin on my mother's side, her family is extinct the United States when I die. I don't regret my life - it has been a grand and good one. I have had many privileges that many people don't have - not just financially, but in the many different social entrees that allowed me to meet some of histories greatest and most interesting people. Not everyone can say that they have told Mrs. L (Alice Roosevelt Longworth) that they HATE to colour blue over a cup of tea. Or shared a biscuit with Helen Keller, trash talked with Truman Capote, discussed odd family members with Faulkner, spent a weekend with Johnny and Joanne Carson, gotten drunk with a member of a ruling Royal Family (and tossed their cookies in his mother's lap), gotten on a Freedom bus to Alabama and received a broken jaw, wallowed in the mud for three days at Woodstock, attended three Royal Garden Parties at Buckingham Palace (boring except for the people watching), studied under some of the most learned and astounding professors and scholars of the century (both in the US and in England), written some papers that have been the basis of additions to text books on some subjects, partied with Warhol and discussed theology with Peale, dance with Candy Bergen and been awed to exchange casual conversation with Hepburn, listened to Callas sing impromptu at a party, had their photo taken by Francesco Scavullo, celebrated San Gennaro both at the street festival AND with 150 "Italian relatives" in a Brooklyn back yard, been seated across the table from Eleanor Roosevelt at luncheon, and so much, much more.......... Aside from some scholarly contributions, I suppose the only legacy I will leave is my work with the homeless and social outcasts. I do believe that I will chronicle that endeavor here shortly, as this forum seems to be on its way to becoming my legacy. My mission has involved some innovative, not to say controversial, approaches that have seen some success and may be of worth to others. The past few decades of my life have not been happy ones, fraught with sorrow over my wife's and siblings deaths, my ill health, grinding poverty and social isolation. That, I am sure, is colouring my decision on how to handle this latest curve ball. Emotionally, I'm not sure I wish to prolong this misery. But I have been a fighter all my life, and I come from a very LONG line of survivors, so maybe the "blood" will out? |
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Fig
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Post by Fig on Dec 8, 2013 19:56:49 GMT
Mansons,
You've led a full life -- and here's hoping that you continue doing so! You have met a lot of well-known and lively people, and probably had an effect on some of them. I had no idea of the contacts you've had with so many.
Yet your life, it seems to me, has seen quite a few losses of close family members. In my case, my father passed away 6 years ago, and of course my grandparents have all left this earth. My mother and 5 siblings are still alive, and I have several nieces and nephews (I never had any children). Also a few aunts and uncles (although many are deceased), and several cousins. The main losses of my life (beyond my father) have been due to estrangement, or just drifting apart in some cases. The estrangement is very hard to deal with, but on the other hand there is always a chance for reconciliation, so it is not as devastating as death of a loved one.
This is not about me, so going back to you... Writing about your work with the homeless and social outcasts sounds like a good activity. It's great that you have this site, with presumably few limits on space, to write and communicate. You are such a good writer and story teller. I assume in your scholarly endeavors you have less chance for narrative writing.
Your last sentence is really positive -- it was good to read. I can't imagine what you've been going through, especially in handling the sorrow and the ill health on a long-term basis. Keep fighting! And know that others care about your well-being, and wish the best for you, and would like to keep reading what you have to say!
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Post by bookahtoo on Dec 11, 2013 1:44:28 GMT
Mansons - I don't know what to say either...but I'm thinking of you and hope for the best.
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Post by Mansons2005 on Jan 22, 2014 0:18:27 GMT
I have always been amused and amazed by the inconsistencies and ironies of life, and at times stunned and angered by them as well. I think the biggest irony of my life has BEEN my life. Or at least the way I have lived it. All those decades of smoking three packets a day, the gallons and gallons of booze, the mountains of drugs and "party favors", the sleep deprivation, the random, indiscriminate, and frequent promiscuity, what must amount to years of lost sleep, the random and gluttonous diet, the chances taken while indulging in dangerous and often illegal "adventures", the total disregard for my health, and what will be my undoing? A damned little teratoma that has been lurking in my body, probably since birth and which has suddenly grown to 33cm. Not lung cancer, not cirrhosis of the liver, not an overdose, not AIDS, not a snapped bungee cord, not diabetes, not a knife in the gut in a dark alley in a neighborhood I shouldn't be in, not a Jaguar wrapped around a palm tree...............a damned little tumor that decided to become malignant and grow and which is now 13 inches long and in all probability attached to any number of vital organs. Ain't THAT a joke!
I always thought I would go out with style and a splash................you know, write the Great American Novel, revamp the education system in the US, solve the homeless problem, then on the way home from accepting the Noble Prize, with Dame Helen Mirren on one arm and Sean Connery on the other I would stop the Invading Hordes of Westboro Christians at the gates of Washington, D.C. with my quick wit, a trident in one hand and a martini in the other, and die of a bullet wound from a scorned lover of 50 years ago............................and as I lay dying on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial I would utter the most profound words ever spoken by man...............all without messing up my white tie and tails or spilling my drink
instead, in all probability I will be a whining, crying, puking, mass of stitches and staples and tubes and machines, in a hospital gown that shows off the tattoo on my wrinkled arse................damn! where's the style, the elan, the joie de vivre in that? Maybe THAT is the deserved payoff? An ignoble end to an ignoble life? Oh. if only Dennis Tanner could have written the last chapter of my life............THAT would have been the epitome of joie de vivre!
Ah well, we shall see............................February 3 it's SHOWTIME at the Surgery!
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Post by bookahtoo on Jan 22, 2014 23:26:15 GMT
They are going to cut it out?
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Post by Mansons2005 on Jan 23, 2014 12:26:04 GMT
They are going to cut it out? Well, they are going to "open me up" and take a look ................. they are not sure if it has attached itself to other organs or not. When I had the same issue a few decades ago, it was discovered that the teratoma had attached to a kidney where it met the aorta, so that necessitated removing the kidney..............this time, there may be many organs involved. And in addition to the large one, there are 2 smaller ones which they seem to believe they can remove...its the large one that is a question. And once again, I'll probably be a "teaching" case for any number of boards and schools. While teratoma are not rare (actually sort of common, but usually only malignant in males) the size and speed of growth of mine. As a side note, they have shown me the "pictures" of the PET-CT scan - it is bloody amazing to see your insides, in layers, on a PC monitor! My apologies for not acknowledging the well wishes posted here sooner............I have been in a sort of fog and am only recently buckling down to reality again. |
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