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Post by Mansons2005 on Jun 29, 2013 11:20:01 GMT
Riding on a minimum of 6 buses daily, sometimes up to twelve buses daily, and traveling through a wide variety of ethnic, social and economic areas, one can over hear some of the most remarkable things!
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Post by Mansons2005 on Jun 29, 2013 11:20:31 GMT
Early morning, African-American kid, about 15 years old sitting on the bus in an ROTC uniform obviously on his way to school. Two African-American males, 18-24 years old, sitting opposite him start sniggling and laughing. Finally one of them asked the kid (loudly, from across the aisle) why he was “playing soldier for the MAN?” The kid calmly looked up from his book, looked both of the guys over rather carefully and replied “I think I want to grow up to be a man with a job and a family – NOT a crackhead Nigxxr living with my baby mama cause she got a Section Eight crib and a Link card”. Two black women and an (very old) black man started cheering him …….. I will not recount my reaction – but it took TWO Kleenex………… Note: Section Eight Housing = city funded housing, Link Card = Food Stamps
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Post by Mansons2005 on Jun 29, 2013 11:20:53 GMT
Late afternoon, mid-summer, Armitage Ave. Bus – which serves (very fashionable) Lincoln Park, and happens to pass the (last and) only steel mill in Chicago. Full bus – (very good looking) “Lincoln Park Princess” sitting in the aisle seat just in front of me. Two –three guys who obviously just got off shift at Finkl & Sons board the bus. No seats so they stand in the aisle – next to the Princess. She sniffs audibly (I can hear her from my seat), waves here hand in front of her face a few times then says (loudly, as if the guys are deaf) “You guys stink! Could you move some place else?”
The guys looked at each other for a split second, then one sort of leans over to her and says, just as loudly, and with a slight Eastern European accent, “See we work in a steel mill. It is hot hard work and it makes us sweat under our arms – so you are smelling armpit sweat from our job. You smell like puxxy – what part of your body do you use to make a living?” Forty fellow riders and I were doubled over with laughter and she was so embarrassed that she left the bus at the next stop……………
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Post by Mansons2005 on Jun 29, 2013 11:21:18 GMT
Guy across the aisle from me – REPEATEDLY yelling into his phone “Can you hear me?”, “You hear me”? Finally he looks up and addresses the bus at large – “Stupid bitch – I ax her as question an all she say is Can you hear me! I ain’t gonna tell her till she tell me if she hear me! She one stupid bitch…………..” Uh, sure she is………………..and your obviously friggin Einstein reincarnate
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Post by Mansons2005 on Jun 29, 2013 11:22:08 GMT
About five years ago, early morning in December, cold & snow falling. Two female and one male teen(s) approx. 16 years old. Easy to deduce by their uniforms and book bags that they are on the way to The Latin School (think Nancy Regan). Girl “B” is dressed in a short skirt, skimpy flat shoes, and a short jacket (cropped? Or what was once referred to as a chubby). Girl A: “ Aren’t you cold? Is snow getting into your shoes?” Girl B: “Yeah, but my dad left early and Mom is out of town so nobody told me about the weather.” Boy A: “I know, right! Why don’t they put that shit on your Ipod?” Unable to keep my sarcastic bent in check I leaned into the huddle and said: “You guys are SO RIGHT! The government should absolutely do something about this serious shortage of windows, internet access, radios, television stations and common sense. Any friggin one of them would have given you the weather if you had access!”
Girl A reported me to the bus operator as having given her “unwanted attention” and I was not very politely asked to leave the bus!
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Post by Mansons2005 on Jun 29, 2013 11:29:36 GMT
Early morning bus FULL of high school kids on their way to school. Kid gets on the bus with two VERY large and very full duffel bags in addition to his book bag. Sits behind me with some kids he obviously knows. One asks him why he has the two bags. He explains that "we" have to move to another (homeless) shelter tonight and his mother can't carry all of the kids clothes so he took them to school and will take them to the new shelter tonight. Those kids got off at one of the Charter schools for gifted students - and that kid is not only gifted - he is a gift...............
Lord, I wish I had the wherewithal to help those that kick adversity in the face and try to help themselves...........
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Post by Mansons2005 on Jun 30, 2013 0:49:46 GMT
Not overheard, but hopefully overlooked n the future.........
There is a young(ish) woman who gets on the same early morning bus as I about three times a week (a different stop). And every morning she is carrying a handbag and a carry-all (undoubtedly full of the "most delicious" cupcakes from the trendiest bakery in town)while pulling one of those "wheelie" briefcases, talking on her phone and juggling a cup of (what else?) Starbucks only slightly smaller than a 50 gallon drum. She has the "Successful Career Woman" look down so pat, she could be off the cover of Forbes.....
And every morning she boards the bus and digs through the handbag from from hell, while juggling all of her other accoutrements, to find her bus pass (I guess she didn't REALIZE she was getting on a bus so she doesn't have her pass ready........).
Now people, let us remember that this is a city bus we are talking about. By simple definition it is GOING TO MOVE! And you must grab a hand hold so you move in the same direction as the bus you are on, not the OPPOSITE direction........difficult to do when your hands are full or buried in the handbag from hell.............
The first time I saw her fall flat on her (admittedly cute) ass, I jumped up to assist. The second time I saw her fall flat on her ass I reluctantly went to her aid.......from the third time to the dozenth time I saw her fall flat on her ass I just shook my head. Now I just giggle like a lunatic.............because anyone else that is a regular on that bus has also stopped picking her and her crap up.........
We do take some dirty looks from passengers who have no idea how unutterably stupid this chick is, but its worth it to watch her flounder.....
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Post by bookahtoo on Jun 30, 2013 14:41:07 GMT
These vignettes are great-keep them coming!
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Post by messilane on Jun 30, 2013 15:00:29 GMT
I am SO enjoying these! Even the sad ones.
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Post by Mansons2005 on Jul 4, 2013 13:26:47 GMT
Oh, Lordy - this one has SO many overtones, undertones, and is probably just WRONG, but I couldn't (and can't) resist.
I change buses at about 6:00 a.m. in a very depressed area that is predominately African-American, and notorious for many of the recent shootings in Chicago. Monday I was waiting for the bus when this "kid" (about 24 years old) comes up to the stop, looks at me, asks if I am waiting for the bus, and upon my affirmative answer says (squeals!) "OH MY GOD! At least I won't be the lone ranger today! Since there are two of us whites maybe THEY won't hassle me today. I hate this stop but it's the closest .........." and he ran on for at least a minute longer - with lots of THEY drivel in the same vein...............
Now - this "kid" is about 5'6" tall, weighs about 90 pounds, was wearing a pair of Capri pants (sorry guys, when the trousers are below the knee but above the ankle and skin tight with vents on the sides, they are NOT shorts), a very tight tee-shirt that showed 2" of "midriff", a blue hoodie with the hood draped over the back of his "up do" hair like a snood, a pair of red & white sunglasses propped on top of his head (we haven't seen the sun in Chicago is a week), and white flip-flops. Oh, yeah, he had a Louis Vuitton MINI backpack (authentic) slung over his shoulder.
And once again, I could NOT keep my sarcasm to myself............
I said "Sorry to tell you son, but you IS the lone ranger still - my Daddy was black! An I don't think there is a black man in Chicago who hassles you cause you white - they hassle you cause you look, dress and act like a sixteen year old girl, Mary. Even with those tight hoe pants I can't tell if you is man or woman. You better stay in Boy's Town where youse belongs."
My apologies to the Black community for my temporary assumption of your race and attitude! I have lived and worked in diverse communities long enough to realize that what I did was to stereotype, but honestly, he asked for it! And, no I am not homophobic - quite the opposite - I was Gay friendly before Stonewall. Come to think of it, probably before the term "Gay" was coined.............
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Post by bookahtoo on Jul 8, 2013 0:16:04 GMT
OMG -that poor child. How did he react?
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Post by Mansons2005 on Jul 8, 2013 1:46:29 GMT
OMG -that poor child. How did he react? He was hardly a "child"! And any idiot living in a large, metropolitan city with a gun violence rate of at least 2 shootings per day (55 so far this weekend) should know NOT to "antagonize" others with either racial nonsense or controversial behavior, particularly within blocks of most of that violence. How did he react? He said he was sorry that he thought I was white and seemingly ignored the rest of my nastiness.........Poor mite, I do feel that when he learns how to live in a city such as this, it will be from a much harsher encounter that the one we had. HA! This EDIT feature is very cool! This on-line headline from a national news outlet corrects my "violence in Chicago" statics quoted above: Fourth Of July Violence In Chicago: Homicide Rate Passes 200 After Long Holiday Weekend Of Shootings
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Post by Mansons2005 on Jul 8, 2013 1:51:23 GMT
These vignettes are great-keep them coming! SOMEWHERE, I have dozens of these incidents written down............. I just CAN"T FIND THEM! I have a habit of "jotting" them down with full intention of organizing them "later".................wouldn't you know it - the area of my life that is NOT affected by my OCD is my writing - you know, the area of my life that helps me make a living..............
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Post by bookahtoo on Jul 8, 2013 23:52:52 GMT
I was teasing you - I think what you did was hilarious. I do feel just a little bit of pity for him though.
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Post by Mansons2005 on Jul 9, 2013 0:44:10 GMT
I was teasing you - I think what you did was hilarious. I do feel just a little bit of pity for him though. I suppose that I should feel some pity as well - I know that, even though I was convinced I knew it all at that age, I made some bizarre assumptions and "mistakes". I find that the older I get, the less patience I have for what I tend to call stupidity, but which is in reality naivety ..... that of course makes me the fool - but I'm old enough to bear the burden - that one and many others!
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Post by Mansons2005 on Jul 13, 2013 4:53:04 GMT
Sitting on the bus this A.M., seated next to a woman I know casually from this particular segment of my commute - there is a young-ish (mid 20's?) girl sitting across from us talking on her phone in a slightly louder than normal speaking voice.........obviously telling her "BFF" about her date last night. And after about 15 minutes of "and he's like, can I come up" and "I'm like, I want him to come up but what will he think on the first date" and "he's like, a really good kisser" and so on ad nauseum, the women next to me started to say something to me - and my "nasty" kicked in - I turned to her and said (in a slightly louder than normal speaking voice) - "Shhhh - want to hear if this chick got laid last night!"
A) I didn't know that young women stilled blushed
B) I'm glad I'm armor plated - the look that girl gave me would have curdled milk..............
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Post by Mansons2005 on Jul 13, 2013 4:58:35 GMT
Some current correspondence I am having with the people who run the bus service in Chicago.............. in reverse order, unfortunately! My messages are in blue ........
My reply this a.m. Is this some kind of sick joke?
I saw the crew out there supposedly repairing this issue .....................and thanks - NOW IT DISPLAYS ARRIVAL TIMES FOR THE NUMBER 20 TO ILLINOIS CENTER.
THIS IS THE 66, CHICAGO AVENUE BUS - NO OTHER BUS STOPS THERE. WHAT PART OF THIS ARE YOU ALL HAVING TROUBLE COMPREHENDING?
I sincerely hope that you have contractors that handle these things, because if it is handled by the same team that actually runs the buses, I have some serious (additional) reservations about using this "public" service....................
-----Original Message----- From: DELETED To: feedback <feedback@transitchicago.com> Sent: Fri, Jun 28, 2013 11:27 pm Subject: Re: Transit Chicago Contact Us - The Arrivals Times board at stop 530
This issue has still not been resolved.
Is that because: A) You do not understand the problem? B) Your organization is incapable of fixing it? C) It's on the West Side, so who cares?
-----Original Message----- From: Feedback <feedback@transitchicago.com> To: DELETED Sent: Wed, Jun 12, 2013 1:28 pm Subject: RE: Transit Chicago Contact Us - The Arrivals Times board at stop 530
Thank you for your comments. Your information has been forwarded to the responsible General Manager for appropriate action. We appreciate your notification of this issue. CTA FEEDBACK TEAM
From: DELETED Sent: Wednesday, June 12, 2013 9:22 AM To: Feedback Subject: Transit Chicago Contact Us - The Arrivals Times board at stop 530
Comment: The only bus that stops at stop 530 is the #66 Chicago Ave. BUT the ONLY bus arrival times that post on the electronic Arrivals Board are the 157 and 141 ...... NOT EVEN CLOSE!
This has been going on for months - and has been repeatedly pointed out to drivers awaiting shift changes as well as the "superintendents" or whoever it is that stands around in uniform with clipboard talking to buddies on the phone............but I am beginning to believe that they haven't bothered to report it to HQ.............. A bus stop: 530 - Chicago & Pulaski
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Post by Mansons2005 on Jul 13, 2013 20:27:52 GMT
An Open Letter to Forrest Claypool re: CTA Buses
First allow me, with full sincerity, to say that the Chicago Transit Authority’s bus system is very comprehensive and better that most I have experienced in the United States.
On the other hand, I thought I would make a few suggestions that may enhance not only the Rider (oops! You call them “Customers” now!) Experience, but may also be helpful in other respects:
For instance, you could install an exit door near the rear of each bus so that “Customers” could board in the front and exit in the rear! That would not only save time, but would eliminate the stepped on toes of those unfortunate enough to be in the way of some one sitting in the back seats and having to run/push their way to the front to exit………………….(and then turn right after they disembark)
You could have the driver (oops! You call them “Operators” now!) issue napkins and/or Wet Naps to those they SEE boarding the bus with ice cream cones, ice pops, hamburgers, fiery hot Cheetos, etc. so they wouldn’t have to wipe their hands on the seats……………………… (And don’t discount tray tables for the pizza and nachos – then the “Customers” wouldn’t have to spread it out in the parcel area near the “Operator”)
You could install soundproof booths at each seat so that each person could listen to his/her personal music choice without it conflicting with those around them………………..(and IF you installed a WORKING speaker system “Customers” could actually hear it)
You could install “jump seats” next to the driver so that other CTA “Operators” have a place to sit when talking to the “Operator” driving the bus and they won’t have to suck in their guts and shoot glowering looks at “Customers” attempting to board the bus………………. (Admittedly, the overheard information about nasty/corrupt Supervisors IS interesting)
You could take that blank, red tinted area above the windshield and install an electronic message board with information such as the next stop, whether a stop has been requested, etc. and maybe even MORE helpful, the current RUN NUMBER…………..(the current time and other helpful messages should not be overlooked)
You could hire “Operators” who understand “Customer” language and not only the language spoken by other “Operators” – this would avoid the blank stares and grunts when a “Customer” asks a pertinent question or says Good Morning ………………. (Providing that the “Operator” is not too deeply engrossed in a conversation with another “Operator” that is)
You could install BIGGER trash bins (instead of eliminating them altogether) and set aside an area with a sign that reads “Picnic Grounds”………………(and hire busboys (pun intended) to take away all of the empty coffee cups, Slurpy cups, water bottles, beer cans in bags and other trash that litters the floor)
Even though they are “free” you could start charging for The Red Eye and HOY. Judging by the number of copies littering each bus, this could be lucrative enough to eliminate any deficit …………. (Isn’t it amazing how the results of stepping on an ice patch and stepping on two folded sheets of The Red Eye have the same, slippery results!)
Of course, those suggestions are the more accomplishable ones I can suggest. My real wish list would include:
A baggage check room for back packs and book bags - to avoid the slapped faces, snagged earphone cords and the taking up of two seats by those wearing them………………….. (I personally would benefit from this having had two, not one, but two pairs of eyeglasses destroyed by backpacks…….)
Folding make-up mirrors, for the woman who doesn’t seem to have a bathroom mirror at home….(and girl, you DO NOT look like a busy wife, mother, career woman – you look like whoever you spent the night with couldn’t wait to get rid of you and tossed you out before you were ready….)
Folding foot rests for the comfort of those guys who need to slouch in their seats with their legs in the aisle…………….(and guys – you DO NOT look chill and laid back – you look like you’re waiting for Lexington Steel to lift you by the knees and slip you a little sumpin…)
A nursery or playpen near the front door – to corral the kids that “mom” lets push through the legs of boarding passengers and run all over the bus …………….. (Climbing on seats and swinging from the straps….hmmm, a jungle gym in the back of the bus maybe……..)
Please – eliminate the arms rest that occur every three seats – don’t you realize that most “Customers” are FOUR seats long and it is hard to recline comfortably with the arm rest in the way ………………. (Pillows and a sleep mask would a nice touch for those that have a longer commute, say over fifteen minutes, and simply HAVE to nap …….)
Um, I don’t have a solution or suggestion, but maybe you can think of a way to prevent “Customers” from pushing a stroller or shopping cart down the aisle and parking in front of what should be an exit door - and then pushing it all the way back to the front to disembark…………….. (Then those “Customers” that believe that that space is actually a phone booth won’t be displaced…….)
Ooops! Almost forgot – IF you had a WORKING speaker system, you could allow some sort of Bluetooth arrangement so that every “Customer” could hear what that chick on her phone is telling her BFF about her date last night ……….. (Some people don’t know if she (or her date) got lucky or not – and it’s just a tease to give us the one side of the conversation…)
I have covered my experiences with the new Arrivals Times boards at certain stops elsewhere, so I will not bore you with them here.
In closing, allow me to say that there are some drivers who actually deserve the title Operator – I have seen and heard them go above and beyond, and they do not rely on non-functioning or easily overlooked systems to keep passengers informed, safe and comfortable. They actually have voices and use them. The irony here is that I can not even send kudos to your e-mail contact because you seem to have eliminated THE RUN NUMBER from any functioning message boards (fewer and more far between lately).
Just sign me, “A Six Bus a Day Rider”
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Post by Mansons2005 on Sept 10, 2013 1:05:07 GMT
A week ago we finally completed the move of our offices - so now I take a completely different set of buses each day.........and I have to say that in some ways I "miss" some of the characters I used to see on a regular basis.........
Mr. Peaches - each morning he eats tinned peaches, from the tin, with his fingers...........
Wigger boy - he is CONVINCED he is black - though he is as white as this page - got a funny about him I must remember to relate
Flat on Her Ass Chick - every morning she is so laden with accoutrements while talking on her phone that she falls flat on her ass when the bus moves off from her boarding stop
Air Guy - mid-twenty something dude with ear phones who must be listening to the best music EVER - he plays air guitar, air drums, air keyboard, and jiggles and jives in his seat like a Solid Gold Dancer
Matchy-Matchy Couple - they board together, dressed in the same color scheme, by the same designers (I actually saw both of them wearing Prada flip-flops once), carrying the same briefcases, and sit together in total silence reading the Red-Eye.........bet when the reproduction bug hits, they have identical twins..TWICE
Totally Involved Gay Dad - he explains EVERYTHING to that toddler, in depth - and makes the rest of us miserable by talking incessantly and letting the kid fumble his bus pass into the fare reader, asking us to move because the kid wants to sit on "that side of the bus", asking others NOT to ring for their stop so that the kid can do it...........
Where did I spend the Night Lady - brushes out and arranges her hair, puts on a full face of make-up and touches up her nails on the bus. I imagine that SHE thinks that WE think that she is a "busy career" mother .......... we actually think that whom ever she spent the night with threw her out before she was ready to leave..............
Preacher Man - older black guy who attempts to strike up a conversation with any and everyone - and preaches the Gospel - at least the gospel according to him......I have never seen a copy of the Gospels that used THAT many four letter words......words I don't even use (often)
Nervous Guy - endearing but still slightly annoying, he has a learning disability of some sort, he's in his early twenties, and each morning a woman (mom?) puts him on the bus. And commencing with the very next stop he stands up and looks out the window at the street signs, and asks out loud, "Is this Montrose Avenue?". And at the next stop he stands up and looks out the window at the street signs, and asks out loud, "Is this Montrose Avenue?". And at the next stop............ Many of us have told him we will tell him when the Montrose stop is coming up but it has had no affect. I imagine that he is trying to do this "on his own" and I have to respect that
Living Room Girl - sits down and puts her feet up on the seat next to her so she can recline while she eats her Dunkin Donuts or Mc whatever sandwich and sips her 1,967 ounce iced latte while talking on her phone
On second thought, NO I don't miss these people - but I am looking forward to collecting an entirely NEW batch of characters
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Post by Mansons2005 on Sept 10, 2013 1:22:27 GMT
Wigger boy (look it up in the Urban Dictionary)........this white boy wears his pants to out sag every sagger, his t-shirt to out extra-extra-large every recent parolee from County jail, his Timberlane boots completely without laces, and usually has TWO price tags dangling from his cap........which he wears on very strange angles. . He out-thugs, out Hip Hops, and out ganstas every urban male I have ever seen. He talks to everyone, particularly black guys, and prefaces every statement with "Dis nigga" as in "Dis nigga almos miss dis bus, ya know what i'm sayin?. An dis nigga can't be late for da gig no more cause dat man he a real Muthafker. Dis nigga need da bread to pay fo he crib an he lady." And so on ad nauseum.......... One afternoon he was babbling at two black guys who were trying to ignore him, but he kept on "Dis nigga-ering". Finally one of the guys grabbed him by the front of his size XXXXXXXXXL tee-shirt and said (not nicely) "If dat nigga don't shut the fu*k up, DIS nigga gonna plant he size 13 kicks in DAT lily white nigga ass"...............yes I laughed out loud and got some really nasty looks from the two guys.....didn't faze Wigger Boy though...........his response was "Hey dawg, why you disrespecting dis nigga? "
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Post by bookahtoo on Sept 28, 2013 11:37:57 GMT
Poor little dip shit. Ha ha.
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Post by Mansons2005 on May 16, 2015 17:43:19 GMT
One morning last week a well dressed woman boarded the bus eating a banana (I forgo any snide remarks on HOW she was eating said banana). She took a seat and proceeded to finish her banana, then got up to deposit the peel in the tiny little canvass trash "bag" that hangs next to the driver and is intended for the cellophane wrappers from fare cards. The driver politely asked her to not leave the peel there as the container was not designed for food waste.
She (belligerently) asked, "Why Not?"
He replied, "Because I have to sit here for the next six hours and banana peels smell".
She said, "That's too bad. That's what you get paid for".
He said, "No, what I get paid for is driving you to a destination safely and as on time as I can".
She said, "I want your name and badge number so I can report you".
He said, "Sure, and I want your name and a picture so I can post this on Facebook".
At which point another passenger spoke up and said, "Not necessary, I already took a picture to send to Jimmy Kimmel's Finger of Shame"!
We all laughed and cheered and she got off the bus at the next stop................
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Fig
New Member
Posts: 42
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Post by Fig on May 17, 2015 18:00:59 GMT
Great story! .... How I miss Chicago public transit. -- And I'm only half joking!
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Post by Mansons2005 on Sept 27, 2015 22:13:56 GMT
Standing at the bus stop the other morning, along with a very attractive, well dressed young lady of about 25-28 years old
Young guy, about the same age, wearing cargo shorts, flip flops, t-shirt and a cap on backwards comes along and tries to chat her up
Of course, since it was obvious that I was there, I eavesdropped......
That is until she asked him which college he was enrolled in.
He responded that he had graduated from college and had a great job.
She responded "Sorry, I thought you were a freshman by the way you are dressed"................
conversation ended at that point................
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Post by bookahtoo on Sept 28, 2015 10:08:01 GMT
Not a match made in heaven I guess.... I have to admit, my sympathies are with the young man.
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Post by galwriagila on Oct 28, 2016 18:43:45 GMT
I don't know how to ride a bus.
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Post by Mansons2005 on Oct 28, 2016 19:09:10 GMT
Riding the bus is THE best people watching! I have done it in every city I have lived in, even when other modes of transportation were easier. There is no better way to get a handle on the current social climate - ALL types, classes and configurations ride Public transportation in large urban areas and you get quite a cross section.
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